Last night, in a small group discussion about relationships with God, I mentioned that I felt like I was in the infancy of my understanding of this concept. Mind you, not for lack of trying, or lack of desire...just failure of making it happen. A friend piped in some great wisdom, I'd like to paraphrase and hope I do her justice:
She mentioned another friend (she may as well been describing me) who had been a Christian, albeit a frustrated one, for decades, but lacked the feeling of a personal relationship with God. He couldn't understand why he did not feel that connection. He watched in worship services as others soaked in the joy and grace and love and WONDERFUL feelings from a shared connection with others and their Lord. He felt dead, broken, like he was doing something wrong, even though his intentions and desires were to partake in those same awesome things.
She then described a moment where a number of people rallied around him and helped answer his questions about personal relationships with God, and "un-stalled" decades of stale, unfulfilled Christianity.
Too often, I think that well-intended Christians are so excited about their personal epiphany with God that we fail to help others in their own journey. Genuine, (yet condescending and hurtful) comments like, "Well, when xxx happens, you'll know," or "What you need to do is..." or, my personal favorite (and I'm guilty of it myself), "I used to feel EXACTLY the same way, until..."
In our discussions last night, I think I settled on two simple truths. No revelations, just a desire on my part to keep it simple...
One--God is there. God desires a relationship with us that is deep and personal, and direct, and meaningful. God desires us to allow Him to be the ONLY thing that we need, and promises to be there no matter what, with no end. The roadblock in this relationship is not God, it's us. We have to make a conscious effort to allow God into EVERY part of our life, every thought, every desire, every win, and every failure.
Two--God will speak to each of us how WE need, when WE need it, if we allow Him, and if we are ready to hear Him. Some refer to this as God, "meeting us where we are".
For me, I was definitely in the way of my relationship with God. I was living a life of stated belief and principle for a very long time, but I was unwilling to put myself out on faith, or to be vulnerable. Frankly, I wanted to hide the ugly stuff--from myself, from others, and from God. Even when I was past THAT point, and no longer hiding, I went through a *very* difficult time of doubting very seriously if God was interested in giving a guy as bad as me a chance. I felt like I had squandered a lot of great opportunities and situations, and was pretty much a selfish jerk undeserving of any of the awesome that God had to offer.
As it turns out, I'm not good enough, and I can't be, but that's what makes the power of Christ and his sacrifice such a lesson in grace. All God wants from me is acceptance of His gift, and a loving relationship with me. Wow.
I believe that many people, especially people that are deeply hurting, are waiting to "hear" from God. My point "TWO" above I think is a dangerous place for an excited, happy Christian trying to encourage another who is waiting to hear from God. This is a place I have found myself several times in the last few years, where I end up feeling bad, and frankly I think others have resented me, because they tried to repair THEIR life by doing the same things I did, but were frustrated because they didn't get the same results. I think that's a natural human response--especially amongst men...we want to fix things, and we want a clear, detailed, step by step path to the repair.
Sadly, the damage to our hearts and lives rarely occurs as the result of a single, measurable event, so attempting a repair in that manner is generally fruitless. From the basis of our belief system of the broad "born a sinner" concept, to the more specific and tangible series of mistakes and life choices that put us where we are...the missing and broken spaces in our hearts that only God can fill is a personal process (not a one time event), and a journey that we must undertake willingly and personally.
I'm going to make a concerted effort to encourage others to explore and open themselves to God's love...but MY story is MY story. MY story is about where God needed to come to meet me, and where I had to get to be willing to hear from Him. Trying to force MY story into someone else's situation, no matter how well intentioned, is not necessarily going to help someone else in THEIR journey.
My challenge to myself--Encourage others that God IS there. Continue to nurture that relationship in my own life, and work really hard on being open to hearing what He has to say to me. Encourage others to do the same. Share successes and happiness, but allow others to partake in their own journey.
I hope some bits and pieces here make some sense to someone...I needed to get some thoughts out of my head to make room for some work stuff!
Blessings.
No comments:
Post a Comment