Mission Trip Debrief

I'm starting to think that there is not much original thought left in this world.  Not that we aren't trying, but everytime I think I'm clever and I've really got a great fresh idea to pass on, Google jumps in and ruins it.

Holy cow, how can I plagiarize some dude I've never heard of, on some website I didn't know existed?  Well, that kinda flows right along with my thoughts on stories--we're really not all that different, and it turns out, we share a lot of thoughts and feelings.

I was googling to try to get some insight on some of the thoughts I had before Heidi and I went on our Compassion trip to Ecuador.  As it turns out, I'm shockingly not the first person to be cynical about the idea of short term mission trips.  Even more shocking, there was a [name redacted for security purposes] big time cynic on my trip with me!  Wow!

A few years ago after hitting some roadblocks in what I *thought* was a great local ministry idea, helping people who couldn't afford decent transportation get some, I was encouraged to read the book, "Toxic Charity".  I'd encourage you to read it as well.  The subtitle is "How Churches and Charities Hurt Those They Help."  WOW.  That was eye opening.  Americans, particularly American Christians, are very good at seeing a need, and very good at rallying support for a cause.  What we apparently really lack, is the ability to move from catalyst to sustainability.  A major disconnect, it would seem, is our desire to impose our will on people who never asked for it in the first place! A second, would be the foreseeable, yet often ignored, consequences of the changes being made.

Let's get some specific cynical stuff out of the way first:

1.) For the group of 15 of us to take part in this trip, approximately $45,000 was raised/spent on travel and expenses.  I'm no developing country scholar, but my math tells me that this amount of money could go a long way without my international flight costs digging into it.  You get the idea, the money was a real struggle for me.  Not raising it, not giving it up to go, but I couldn't help but feel like a bit of an arrogant jerk to be spending that kind of coin to go first hand and gawk at people who were struggling for bare necessities.

2.) Work projects:  I chose my trip, or allowed it to choose me, because I felt something a little mysterious brewing under the surface.  We weren't painting a church, we weren't building a house, we weren't digging a well...we were just going to be present.  That appealed very much to me.  See, cynical me believes that painters should paint, and builders should build, and well drillers should drill--I come from a construction background, and I can assure you--every time I've had a well-intention-ed but unskilled person want to "help", my projects take longer, frustrate me more, and too often end up completed in a substandard way.  Besides, if unemployment or underemployment is a major issue in an area, why the heck would I be down there working for free instead of taking some of my mission money and hiring some local laborers to do the same thing?  Hmmm.

3.) What am I going to do anyway?  Since we weren't building something, and I doubted that the majority of the folks we would contact would be running a business and desirous of my vast management skills to be consulted upon, what the heck was I going to do for a week in a country where I BARELY understand the language, and know nothing of the culture?

As I listened to our incredible host, Fernando Puga describe what he felt was effective and what was NOT effective, I had a thought that had never crossed my mind before.  Fernando described a strong desire to shift from transactional or stuff based mission work to transformational or thought based work.  (Note:  this is my debrief of my experience, I don't speak for Fernando, nor do I articulate nearly as well as he does--but I think we connected on his goals.)  Fernando described well the well intended, yet often short-sighted programs and projects that have taken place around the world, and then described why long-term, those programs or projects failed.  Fernando instructed us that the best thing that we could do is be present, be loving, and be encouraging.  Encourage dreams, relate to people like a person.  Laugh, cry, hug, love.  Open our minds past our American solutions to problems that are not American problems.  Hmmm...seemed a little open ended.

Somewhere in the midst of Fernando's presentation, my mind trailed off a bit.  I started thinking of things I hadn't.  Suddenly, even some of the positive thoughts I had didn't seem so positive.  A word popped into my head that hadn't been spoken, but it just connected--Imperialism.  (Turns out, I thought my clever coining of the phrase Imperialistic Mission Trips was original--nope.  Google that, and you'll find a bunch of other clever people who thought they were original too.)  Even in our best intentions, we sometimes fail to understand that others don't necessarily want what we want, or want to be how we are.

I came back to the conversation somewhere around the time that Fernando was explaining that he wanted our visit to be about relationships.  Don't be seen as a dollar sign, a handout, Santa Claus, an ATM.  There were numerous examples, and somewhere in there, I realized that God had definitely led me to the right trip, with the right leadership.  Interesting.

So...since we returned, I've been asked two things (mostly).  1.) How was your trip?  2.) What did you do?

Well, how was our trip?  Indescribable.  Incredible.  Life changing, humbling, and inspiring.  Frankly, a better answer is this:  Heidi and I are going back in October.  Yeah, like in 3 months.  I knew shortly after we had arrived that there was a draw to this region that was about more than just this one trip.  I don't really know what that means yet, and certainly don't know what the future holds, but I can assure you that absent some serious sign from God, Ecuador, and specifically the town of Echeandia, Bolivar province, is now a part of my family's story, and will continue to be.

What did we do?  Nothing.  Everything.  We were told to take notes and keep a journal.  I don't follow direction very well.  More truthfully, I don't process deep emotion and thought quickly, at least not to the point that I'm willing to commit it to paper.  I made a few notes and mostly started thinking through this blog post.  Here it is.  More will come later, out of order, in jagged pieces just like the best memories do, but for now, this is my story of what we did.

We met people.  Lots of people, lots of mothers and children.  We were greeted like long-lost family, even though nobody knew us.  I got more hugs and kisses in an hour than I've had in a year.  We saw accomplishment.  We saw pride.  We saw hard work, and we saw some of the effects of the recent earthquake.  We saw abject poverty.  I saw structures that people called homes that would not even meet standards for those of us who like to "rough it" in the woods.

What I didn't see?  Self-pity.  Anger.  Disdain.  Greed.  A word that came to mind almost immediately after my first home visit was, "CONTENT."  Not one time did I spend time with anyone who asked us to pray for more things, or a nicer house, or more clothes, or a bigger tv.  Health, enough work to pay the bills.  That's pretty much what people asked for.  People who after showing me their house with no windows and no running water and half a dozen people in it insisted that I take their gift of 30lbs of oranges or other fruit.  People willing to share, willing to give.

What did I see?  I saw generosity.  I saw goodness.  I saw thankfulness.

Quickly, almost before I realized, I looked past what I saw as an American--no a/c, no running water, no convection oven (no oven), and I saw people.  I saw God's people.  I saw good.

Oh sure, it's not all peaches and rainbows.  Of course we were sheltered from the worst of the worst, and probably even from the bad.  I know its there, because we heard people's stories.  But I also know that God is there.  God is there, and God is moving, and God is working.  I want to help God with that work, but I want to do it HIS way, and THEIR way.  Not my way.

I saw hope.  I saw hope in situations that most people I know would roll up in a ball and give up.

I also saw things that made me very sad.  I was heartbroken to see that the amount of fathers engaged in their marriage or children's lives is infinitesimal.  I saw little girls who had no idea what a MAN was like, so they are destined to repeat what their mothers did.  I saw little boys who without direction will grow up and be just like their dads.

But, again, I saw hope.  I met MEN.  I met MEN who may not "get it" on the level I wish they did, but they knew how powerful their role in their family is.  They knew that they represented the hope of their family and their children.  I met MEN that I want to spend more time with.  I want to encourage.  I want to share in their success.  I want to see them win, whatever that means to them.

So what did I do?  I changed.  Just a bit, but an important bit.

This week, I had the privilege of sitting around for a few moments with some men I admire.  One of them I had just met, but I'm pretty smart, and I could tell he was the real deal.  I took a moment, even outside of my own joking self, and just asked those guys to be my friends.  Let's hang out.  Let's talk about guy stuff and encourage one another.  I need that too.

I have thrown myself into learning spanish.  I've started an "Ecuador" line item in our family budget. I'm trying really hard to stop short of trying to fix things (that'll be a lifelong journey), and be more present for those who ask, until they have something they actually want me to help with.

The cynicism?  Some is still there.  A really smart guy told me back in May that, "Bad decisions made with good intentions are still bad decisions."  I think that people, particularly well-meaning people; and even more particularly, well-meaning evangelical Christians--struggle to acknowledge when things need an adjustment or regrouping to stay on task; I think we equally struggle to see the value in things that are not always tangible, not always measurable, but certainly important and present.

I think there are good mission trips.  There's certainly got to be bad ones.  I think there's some non-profits that are horribly run and some for-profits that might do great things.

I know this--I'm completely sold out to Ecuador, and particularly, the work that Compassion International is doing in Ecuador.  The work of Fernando and his family, and his incredible staff, all the way down to the children's center level--incredible, and God sent.

God doesn't give you more than you can handle...or does He?

--I revived this from one my recent Facebook posts, mostly because I want to have it in a place where it's easy for me to share--

While recently counseling a former employee, I shared something that really changed my outlook on God and life and problems. I don't claim to be the original thought maker, but I don't remember anyone putting it to me this way--it's just how it came together for me. I may have shared bits and pieces over the last year, and if you counseled me, you may notice some of your thoughts mixed in...

I've heard my whole life that God won't ever give you more than you can handle. I am now going to tell you that I wholeheartedly disagree with that statement, and that sentiment, no matter how wonderful it may sound. In fact, I think God often allows us to experience more than we can handle--sometimes briefly, and sometimes for a long period of time. I think He does this to remind us upon Whom we are to rely. The longevity and severity of the experience likely has to do with how resistant we are to the message, and what He wants us to do with the lesson.

There are rampant opinions on the subject, most from people much more educated and with more theological standing than me.  However, due to the nature of the internet, and the ease with which one can create a blog, and the fact that you are here reading, you must have at least some desire to read about the Things Scott Thinks About.

A young pastor I respect very much helped my view on this greatly when I was sobbing and asking why I was being punished, and how long would it last?  The basic gist I took from his speaking is that if we look to God as our spiritual Father, then it would be incumbent on Him to dispense discipline as needed for our spiritual growth and well being.

I don't believe for a minute that Heidi and I went through the mess that we went through just to prove how miserable a human being can make himself, given enough latitude. I believe that first and foremost the intent was to get me to the point of relying on God first, and nothing else, and a secondary outcome was (hopefully) to help other people.

My message to my friend I was talking to was delivered gently, but from the perspective of experience. It was not until I stopped being angry at others and at God and trusted that He had a greater plan than what I knew that I started to garner some peace, and ultimately some resolution. I did not LIKE the idea of being divorced; I did however, ultimately accept it, and prayed to God for understanding and guidance as to how to move forward.

Because I struggle to get this point across, I leaned on the great philosopher tobyMAC, of dcTalk fame, and remembered these lyrics:

"Now when youre down and feelin out
I know ya take it to the Lord
But those times when ya got the clout
Do you take it to the Lord?

When youre outta cash and ya rent is due
I know ya take it to the Lord
But when youre livin large and you got the juice
Do ya take it to the mighty Lord?"

I think, sometimes, that suffering reminds us that we are not as big as HE, and begins to turn our perspective back to one that glorifies Him and His plan.

I hated what Heidi and I went through. I honestly don't even like talking about it all that much, because it's so real and fresh that it's easy to get sucked back into the emotion and negativity and ugliness of it, even just relaying a story.

I do, however, praise God in a big way for where Heidi and I are now, and I know that we couldn't have gotten here on our own, given the path we set upon ourselves.

I hope that makes sense and helps somebody somewhere.